R u a caveman?

I have a blog. Doesn’t everyone? u mean u don’t? How uncool of u!

According to Merriam-Webster, “blog” was the word of the year last year. Not having your own blog is like not having your own Gmail account.

What? You don’t have Gmail either? My God, what are you? A caveman?!

No problem. I’ll send you an invite. You have an Internet account, right? That’s a relief. What’s your broadband speed? 1.5meg? Cable? Huh? You’re using dial-up? You mean, you still have a land line? How retro.

Wait. You’re still using wires? The horror. But you have a handphone, right? Good, take my picture.

Huh? You can’t take pictures w ur phone. Then watz the pt of having a phone? Ok, let me send u one fr my phone. Wat? Ur phone cant receive MMS? Gosh! K den, let me c some pictures in ur phone. Good grief, ur phone is not even a coloured one!U mean u act use a camera to take pictures? Wat a concept.

Cheeeeeese! Snap! Let me c the pic. Where’s the little LCD screen on the camera? Wat do u mean I have to wait for the fotos to be developed? Film? Ur camera uses film? I weep for u.

Next thing u’ll be telling me is u listen to CDs. Hahaha….oic. u mean u act buy the whole albums? I have two words for u: iPod and download. No filler, all killer.

Watz this? A video cassette recorder? U shud donate it to a museum, Grandpa, along w ur eight-track cartridges and vinyl records. Tape is so last millennium.

Is tt a DVD recorder? Oh, it’s juz a player. Wat movies do u have? Pls, no LDs or – heaven forbid – VCDs. U got The Lord of the Rings DVD? Cool.

Wait. This is the theatrical cut! U din get the special extended edition? Wat the hell is wrong w u?! Nvm. At least u have the wide screen version. So u r not a complete loser. Where’s the surround sound? Oic….

Ur “entertainment centre” has only two speakers. Itz ok, I’m juz grateful itz not mono. Hmmm, there’s sth not rite abt ur TV, apart fr the microscopic 36-inch curved screen. I tink itz the cathode-ray tube. No, the cathode ray tube is working fine.

The problem is ur TV act has a cathode-ray tube. I have one word and three letters for u: Plasma and LCD. And if u say “projection TV”, I’ll beat u to death w my Nintendo DS.

Speaking of trilogies, did u see the trailer for Star Wars Episode III: The Revenge of the Sith? No, not in the cinema. On the web. I’ll show u. Where’s ur computer? Ah, tt pesky cathode ray tube again. Three words: Flat panel monitor. Ah, ur mouse and keyboard – more wires. Wireless doesn’t juz refer to radio anymore, u noe. Get into the 21^st century, man!

My ears! My ears! Watz tt awful screeching noise? The modem? Oh, yeah, I 4got, u’r using dial-up.

How do u live like this? Like an animal?

Ok, I found the site. I’m downloading the Star Wars trailer 4 u now. Judging by the bit rate, I’d say this will take roughly 4000 years.

4get it, I’ll Gmail u the file. By the way, did I mention I have a blog?

extracted, and manipulated, fr article by johnsonOng